After losing my Grandpa, my Grandma moved my Mom & her brother to the US - California. (San Francisco) My Grandma lived there with my Step-Grandpa ’til the day she died. (Ironically it was the exact day after he died. Quite the love story.)

So, anyway, I guess that the fact that my family had to flee and whatnot….this whole Iranian thing just has my stomach feeling all weighted down. I HATE knowing that people like Neda are dying daily. All they want is their God given right to freedom. I’m so, so bothered by all of this.

So now comes the part why I titled this entry “First Hand”. I read an article earlier, and I really wanted to share it with everyone. It’s kinda long, but is awesome to get a first hand account of the goings on.

(Name removed by request) reports his own observations on the course of events of 15th June 2009 in Tehran (Let’s not forget that Amir is located in Tehran. Please keep him in your thoughts.)

I left my home in Tajrish along with my family at 3 p.m. We went down Valiast Street which is the main northern-southern avenue in Tehran and entered the Evin Exp’way which leads to Enghelab Street. We knew that people are supposed to gather in Enghelab Sq. (Revolution Sq.) at 4 and march toward Azadi Sq. (Freedom Sq.). From Gisha Bridge onwards, we saw people walking down. Cars were blowing their horns and people were showing victory sign. We went to Navvab Street and parked our car at the end of the street. Then we took a taxi to bring us back to the Enghelab Street.

On our way, near Jomhouri Sq. (Republic Sq.), I saw a group of about 20 militia with long beards and batons on motorbikes. My hand was out of the car window with a little green ribbon (the sign of reformists) around my finger. One of the militia told me to throw that ribbon away. I showed him a finger. All of a sudden, about 15 people attacked me inside the car. They beat me with their batons and wanted to pull me out. My wife and my daughter who were sitting in the back seat cried and hold me tight. I also hold myself tight on the chair. They wanted to shatter the car windows. The driver went out and explained that he is a taxi and we are his passengers and he has no fault. After about 5 minutes,they left. My elbow hurts severely. Then, a young man from their group came and kissed my elbow! I told him: You know, I don’t hate you. I am like you with the only difference that I know more and you are ignorant. He apologized and left.
We joined the crowd in Enghelab Street.

What I saw today was the most elegant scene I had ever witnessed in my life. The huge number of people were marching hand in hand in full peace. Silence. Silence was everywhere. There was no slogan. No violence. Hands were up in victory sign with green ribbons. People carried placards which read: Silence. Old and young, man and woman of all social groups were marching cheerfully.

This was a magnificent show of solidarity. Enghelab Street which is the widest avenue in Tehran was full of people. I was told that the march has begun in Ferdowsi Sq. and the end of the march was now in Imam Hossein Sq. to the further east of Tehran while on the other end people had already gathered in Azadi Sq. The length of this street is about 6 kilometers. The estimate is about 2 million people. On the way, we passed a police department and a militia (Baseej) base. In both places, the doors were closed and we could see fully-armed riot police and militia watching the people from behind the fences.

Near Sharif University of Technology where the students had chased away Ahmadinejad a few days ago, Mirhossein Mousavi (the reformist elect president) and Karrubi (the other reformist candidate spoke to people for a few minutes which was received by cries of praise and applause. I felt proud to find myself among such a huge number of passionate people who were showing the most reasonable act of protest. Frankly, I didn’t expect such a political maturity from emotional Iranians who easily get excited. My family and I had put stickers on our mouths to represent the suppression. Placards that people carried were different; from poems by the national poet Ahmad Shamlu to light-hearted slogans against Ahmadinejad. Examples include: ” To slaughter us/ why did you need to invite us / to such an elegant party” (Poem by Shamlu). ” Hello! Hello! 999? / Our votes were stolen” or ” The Miracle of the Third Millenium: 2 x 2 = 24 millions” (alluding to the claim by Government that Ahmadinejad obtained 24 million votes) , “Where is my vote?” , ” Give me back my vote” and many other.

We arrived in Azadi Square where the entire square was full of population. It is said that around 500,000 people can be accommodated in this huge square and it was full. Suddenly we saw smoke from Jenah Freeway and heard the gunshot. People were scared at first but then went forward. I just heard the gunshots but my sister who had been on the scene at that part told me later that she saw 4 militia came out from a house and shot a girl. Then they shot a young boy in his eye and the bullet came out of his ear. She said that 4 people were shot. At least one person dead has been confirmed. People arrested one of the Baseeji militia but the three others ran away when they ran out of bullet. At around 8 we went back on foot. On the way back people were still in the street and were chanting Allah Akbar (God is Great).

I was coming home at around 2 a.m. In parkway, I saw about ten buses full of armed riot police parked on the side of the street. Then I saw scattered militia in civil clothes with clubs in hand patroling the empty streets. In Tajrish Square, I saw a very young boy (around 16) with a club who was looking at the cars to see if he can find something to attack. I don’t know how and under what teachings can young boys change into militia.

I came home. Tomorrow, people will gather again in Valiasr Square for another peaceful march toward the IRIB building which controls all the media and which spreads filthy lies. The day before Yesterday, Ahmadinejad had hold his victory ceremony. Government buses had transported all his supporters from nearby cities. There was full coverage of that ceremony where fruit juice and cake was plenty. A maximum of 100,000 had gathered to hear his speech. These included all the militia and the soldiers and all supporters he could gather by the use of free TV publicity.

Today, at least 2 million came only relying on word of mouth while reformists have no newspaper, no radio, no TV. All their internet sites are filtered as well as social networks such as facebook. Text messaging and mobile communication was also cut off during the demonstration. Since yesterday, the Iranian TV was announcing that there is no license for any gathering and riot police will severely punish anybody who may demonstrates. Ahmadinejad called the opposition as a bunch of insignificant dirt who try to make the taste of victory bitter to the nation. He also called the western leaders as a bunch of “filthy homosexuals”.

All these disgusting remarks was today answered by that largest demonstration ever. Older people compared the demonstration of today with the Ashura Demonstration of 1979 which marks the downfall of the Shah regime and even said that it outnumbered that event.

The militia burnt a house themselves to find the excuse to commit violence. People neutralized their tactic to a large degree by their solidarity, their wisdom and their denial to enage in any violent act.

I feel sad for the loss of those young girls and boys. It is said that they also killed 3 students last night in their attack at Tehran University residence halls. I heard that a number of professors of Sharif University and AmirKabir University (Tehran Polytechnic) have resigned.

Democracy is a long way ahead. I may not be alive to see that day. With eyes full of tear in these early hours of Tuesday 16th June 2009, I glorify the courage and bravery of those martyrs and I hope that their blood will make every one of us more committed to freedom, to democracy and to human rights.

Viva Freedom, Viva Democracy, Viva Iran

p.s.: If you find this report of any value, please share it with as many people as possible. Facebook is filtered and internet is very slow in Iran. Please somebody put this on facebook.

You can follow the situation in Iran on twitter using the hashtag #iranelection

Remember: this isn’t about the candidates. It’s about a free peoples’ right to a fair election.

This is absolutely humiliating, but I’ve got no other choice. My family and I are in absolute dire need of help, and we honestly have no place to turn.  I just created an account over at Fundable.com which explains everything in detail.  Like I said - I’m humiliated…as is Lonnie.

I know we’ve had rough times in the past and a couple of my friends stepped up to help us out. I can’t even express how much that meant/means to me…to us. Well, this time is worse than any other time we’ve had…EVER.  We’ve never been this bad off in our lives, and we simply don’t know what else to do.  So, please check out our account over at Fundable. Even if you’re not able to help financially, a prayer, a good vibe…anything positive will help.

Thanks so much for taking the time. I’m sorry to burden anyone with my issues.  I really am.

So what I’m thinking is that I need to come up with a theme for my blog. That’ll ensure that I post regularly and that there is consistency.  What I mean is that I need to come up with a particular subject matter for my blog and only post entries regarding that subject.

It could be a technology blog since I’m a geek.  Or it could be a health/beauty blog since I am into that sort of thing.  It could be a gaming blog. There are so many possibilities. I need ideas from you, my readers. (The few I have left)  Please deposit your suggestions in the comments area. Together we can build a badass blog.

When I say “together” I mean it. I can assign certain people to be able to post entries as well. Of course, they’d have to volunteer. I’d never think to burden my friends by asking them to do it.  But it’d be cool to have a couple different authors. And if it takes off enough, I can even activate the forum section that comes with my hosting. There is also a chatroom option.

So if any of you have ideas, please, PLEASE tell me what they are. Even if I don’t go with them, I will genuinely appreciate all the input I can get.  Thanks in advance, my friends!

It’s not an easy thing to publicly announce that you have these issues. People who don’t have them don’t get it and have the attitude, “Just stop it!” If only it were that easy. Man, life would be so much better for so many - including me. The two that REALLY have a firm hold on me are Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder. If not for the Klonopin I’m prescribed and Lonnie, I’d probably never leave my house. Actually, I know I wouldn’t as I have Agoraphobia, too.  I never claimed to be sane!     :p

Anyway, if anyone else out there suffers from this sort of thing, I really recommend this show. If for no other reason than you won’t feel so alone. Living in a world where very few people in the grand scheme of things have these issues is a very, very lonely feeling. Maybe watching this show and seeing that you’re not alone will help. Although this week didn’t really touch on my main issues (other than the germ thing), it still helped. I’m not sure why, but it did.

I think “Obsessed” will be on once a week on A&E, so catch it if this is of any interest to you!    :)

The name of his band is Cranial Drill.

Here’s his URL: http://www.myspace.com/cranialdrill

Please at least give it a try.

Oh, one last thing…the dude’s in high school. (He’s a good friend of my son.) Holy crap, man. I was a total waste in high school. It’s so cool that he’s actually doing something with his talent. So let’s support him, Mmmmkay?!

Thanks, guys!

• I’ve been playing a game called Animal Crossing on the Gamecube lately. I absolutely adore that game. It’s not only sooo cute, but it’s just so much fun! I’ve not got it hooked up to the Net, but I can imagine it’d be even more fun if it were.

• I dyed my Mom’s hair earlier. It turned out really nice. Better than usual for some reason. I think they changed their formula or something because the color of the dye when it was in the bottle was orange instead of the usual brown. Thank God her hair didn’t turn out orange! Hahaha     

• I’m now a Moderator of the Beta Testers Group on MyOpera. This happened a while back, but it’s been so long that I’ve written anything on my site; I’m catching up.

• Not only am I a Mod, but one of the Mods of the site contacted me and asked me to write up a quote as to why I like My.Opera so much…and also to include a picture. They are making a brochure and they want to include me in it. How incredibly awesome is that?! Seriously!!! I know it might not mean much to many, but to me it’s a huge honor.

• Lonnie is in bed behind me snoring right now. Poor guy. He’s been drumming for the church three days a week…and then another church in our area was basically begging for a drummer, so he offered his services to them as well. He’s been not only busting his ass with work, but he’s also been spending SO much time between the two churches. He’s flat-out exhausted.

• Our landlord came and rototilled a huge section of our yard the other day, so now it’s time to plant that garden. I dislocated my shoulder about two weeks ago which resulted in massive pain and a condition that I cannot remember the name of. So I cannot be out there using the ho or anything like that. It’s a total bummer. I was SO looking forward to doing all of that by myself. But now I’m going to have to rely on my family to help me.     I hate that. Oh well…once it’s been hoed up, I can plant the seeds and starter plants, water it, pull weeds, and all that sort of thing. I just have to take it easy with my shoulder.

• My feet are absolutely frozen solid. I can’t even believe how cold they are. I mean, they’re usually cold, but this is ridiculous!

• I’ve been playing a game on Facebook called Farm Town. Holy cow!!! I love it! It is SO much fun. If you have Facebook, I really recommend trying it out. It’s a bit addicting, but in a totally fun and harmless way.     

• I suppose I’ll wrap it up for now. I have some things I’ve got to do…like tend to my farm in Farm Town, catch up on My.Opera alerts, do some Photoshopping, and do a bunch of other junk. Have a terrific day!!!

• I went to my daughter’s school this morning. They had a “Donuts For Dear Moms” thing. Basically all they do is provide free donuts, coffee, milk, & juice in the gym/cafeteria. Once you’re done chowing down on the goodies, the kids take their mom’s around for a tour…etc. I’ve already been at that school 23483 times, so I didn’t really need a tour. Of course, my daughter did want to show me the computer lab again. She knew I’d like that.

• I’ve recently realized that losing a really close friend produces the same feelings as losing a partner. You go through all the same phases. First is the sadness, then the anger, then the missing that person, and then the questioning whether or not your decision was a good one. In my case, I feel like my decision was good because I’m deathly afraid of being hurt again, but I cannot deny that I’m still hurting. I mean, I’m human, after all. I’ve even thought of writing to my ex-friend to tell her that I apologize for being so…uh…well, I was kinda mean, I guess, in my last message to her. I’m kinda feeling badly for it. I know that she’d just ignore anything I had to say to her, though, so the point is moot. I was just hurting at the time, and my emotions (which was anger at the time) spoke for me. If I had it to do over again, I’d probably be much more friendly and wouldn’t have told her that I never want to hear from her ever again. *sigh* Oh well. What’s done is done. I know logically that it’s for the better to remain apart, but my heart disagrees. I freakin’ hate that! The bottom line for me is that I hope she is happy, is moving on, and will develop either new friendships or rekindle old ones that’ll provide her with the attention and sensitivity that she needs. There’s no point in carrying a grudge, ya’ know? All it does is fester inside of me and make me feel crappy. Nothing good is to come of grudge carrying.

• I’m wearing Lonnie’s Snuggie right now. Ahhh…it’s so freakin’ cozy. My Mom bought it for him for his birthday. He was SO stoked, too! As a matter of fact he was so excited over the Snuggie that when he opened my gift which was a bluetooth headset, he was underwhelmed! DOH!!! I should’ve had him open mine first. Oh well…as long as he’s happy.

• Our Internet was down almost all day yesterday. Our ISP has really been screwin’ us around. There’s apparently something wrong with the lines in our area, but damn! How long does it take to figure it out?!

• Lonnie’s been playing drums for the church lately. Even thought it’s just the church, I’m happy for him. He was so heartbroken when he had to leave his drum kit behind in Billings, so to see him behind another set of drums warms my heart. If only they’d be okay with him busting out with some double bass! Hahaha!

• My brother is supposed to be calling me any day now. Maybe even today. Yay! I’m SO happy to be in touch with him again. Honestly, John & I have never really been close. He’s five years older than I am and even if there wasn’t an age gap, we’ve never really had a whole lot in common. The older we get, though, the more we have in common and it flippin’ pwns! He’s a really cool guy and is super intelligent, too. I love that…talking to stupid people is so irritating. Anyway, we’ve both vowed to do our best to get closer to each other. Emails, phone calls…whatever it may be. He lives in Arizona, so it’s not easy to get together, but I’m sure we’ll either visit him or he will visit us some time. I certainly hope so, anyway. I genuinely miss him.

• I’m so glad today is Friday. Next week is Spring Break for my kids, so they’ll be hanging around. Yay! I love that! There’s something about having them home that I love so much. I think it’s a mixture of knowing they’re safe, enjoying their company, and just liking them being around. My son is 17 now, though, so he spends less and less time at home. He goes to the Rec. Center a lot. They have a gaming room there that he enjoys quite a bit. He’s also made a few friends there, so that’s cool.

• Speaking of the Rec. Center, I need to get on the elliptical machine tonight! w00t! I love that thing!

• I’m making my family a pot roast for dinner tonight. :gag: There’s no way I’ll eat that junk, but just because I’m a non-meat eater doesn’t mean they should have to suffer. I made some steaks for them last week and it didn’t kill me…although it did gross me out majorly. My daughter doesn’t like steak, either. She’s a beef eater, but she hates steak and roast for some reason. She and I will be eating chicken again tonight.

• Well, I know this edition of Random Randomness© is shorter than many others in the past, but I feeling incredibly dizzy and just not so great, so I’m going to go lay down and play some Zelda like I said I was going to over an hour ago. I’m so stubborn. Anyway, I hope everyone has a lovely day!