• I’m supposed to be laying down & taking it easy right now, but I felt this overwhelming urge to post some Randomness…so here I am. Once I’m done, I will go back to playing some Nintendo.

• I went to my daughter’s school this morning. They had a “Donuts For Dear Moms” thing. Basically all they do is provide free donuts, coffee, milk, & juice in the gym/cafeteria. Once you’re done chowing down on the goodies, the kids take their mom’s around for a tour…etc. I’ve already been at that school 23483 times, so I didn’t really need a tour. Of course, my daughter did want to show me the computer lab again. She knew I’d like that.

• I’ve recently realized that losing a really close friend produces the same feelings as losing a partner. You go through all the same phases. First is the sadness, then the anger, then the missing that person, and then the questioning whether or not your decision was a good one. In my case, I feel like my decision was good because I’m deathly afraid of being hurt again, but I cannot deny that I’m still hurting. I mean, I’m human, after all. I’ve even thought of writing to my ex-friend to tell her that I apologize for being so…uh…well, I was kinda mean, I guess, in my last message to her. I’m kinda feeling badly for it. I know that she’d just ignore anything I had to say to her, though, so the point is moot. I was just hurting at the time, and my emotions (which was anger at the time) spoke for me. If I had it to do over again, I’d probably be much more friendly and wouldn’t have told her that I never want to hear from her ever again. *sigh* Oh well. What’s done is done. I know logically that it’s for the better to remain apart, but my heart disagrees. I freakin’ hate that! The bottom line for me is that I hope she is happy, is moving on, and will develop either new friendships or rekindle old ones that’ll provide her with the attention and sensitivity that she needs. There’s no point in carrying a grudge, ya’ know? All it does is fester inside of me and make me feel crappy. Nothing good is to come of grudge carrying.

• I’m wearing Lonnie’s Snuggie right now. Ahhh…it’s so freakin’ cozy. My Mom bought it for him for his birthday. He was SO stoked, too! As a matter of fact he was so excited over the Snuggie that when he opened my gift which was a bluetooth headset, he was underwhelmed! DOH!!! I should’ve had him open mine first. Oh well…as long as he’s happy.

• Our Internet was down almost all day yesterday. Our ISP has really been screwin’ us around. There’s apparently something wrong with the lines in our area, but damn! How long does it take to figure it out?!

• Lonnie’s been playing drums for the church lately. Even thought it’s just the church, I’m happy for him. He was so heartbroken when he had to leave his drum kit behind in Billings, so to see him behind another set of drums warms my heart. If only they’d be okay with him busting out with some double bass! Hahaha!

• My brother is supposed to be calling me any day now. Maybe even today. Yay! I’m SO happy to be in touch with him again. Honestly, John & I have never really been close. He’s five years older than I am and even if there wasn’t an age gap, we’ve never really had a whole lot in common. The older we get, though, the more we have in common and it flippin’ pwns! He’s a really cool guy and is super intelligent, too. I love that…talking to stupid people is so irritating. Anyway, we’ve both vowed to do our best to get closer to each other. Emails, phone calls…whatever it may be. He lives in Arizona, so it’s not easy to get together, but I’m sure we’ll either visit him or he will visit us some time. I certainly hope so, anyway. I genuinely miss him.

• I’m so glad today is Friday. Next week is Spring Break for my kids, so they’ll be hanging around. Yay! I love that! There’s something about having them home that I love so much. I think it’s a mixture of knowing they’re safe, enjoying their company, and just liking them being around. My son is 17 now, though, so he spends less and less time at home. He goes to the Rec. Center a lot. They have a gaming room there that he enjoys quite a bit. He’s also made a few friends there, so that’s cool.

• Speaking of the Rec. Center, I need to get on the elliptical machine tonight! w00t! I love that thing!

• I’m making my family a pot roast for dinner tonight. :gag: There’s no way I’ll eat that junk, but just because I’m a non-meat eater doesn’t mean they should have to suffer. I made some steaks for them last week and it didn’t kill me…although it did gross me out majorly. My daughter doesn’t like steak, either. She’s a beef eater, but she hates steak and roast for some reason. She and I will be eating chicken again tonight.

• Well, I know this edition of Random Randomness© is shorter than many others in the past, but I feeling incredibly dizzy and just not so great, so I’m going to go lay down and play some Zelda like I said I was going to over an hour ago. I’m so stubborn. Anyway, I hope everyone has a lovely day!

I’m not in the mood to bullet point all of my babbling, so I decided not to create Random Randomness© this time. I’ll just type in paragraphs like ‘normal’ people do.

I’m doing fairly well lately. The flu came and finally left. My whole family is recuperating nicely. My Mom & daughter still have a cough, but that’s it. Their lungs are doing their best to repair themselves.

I weighed myself two days ago and was stunned…in a bad way. I don’t know how it happened, but somewhere along the way, I gained ten pounds! Needless to say, I almost had a nervous breakdown when I saw that and have been on the straight and narrow ever since. I’m just baffled as to how it happened. I hardly ever even eat…and when I do, it’s not generally fatty/high calorie foods. I swear - I could walk past a cupcake and gain two pounds. It’s so not fair. I think what happened was that I wasn’t getting the exercise my body was used to while I was sick, so everything I ate just sat on my gut and thighs. I’ll lose it and everything will be okay, but ’til then, I’m completely disgusted with myself.

In other news; I have an appointment with a new doctor in the morning. It’s concerning my neck/back injury. I had found a really good doctor in St. Helens, Oregon…but then something happened with my insurance, so I had to stop seeing him. I’m not happy about it at all, but there’s not much I can do at this time. I figure I’ll go to this new doctor tomorrow to see if she’s any good…and if so, maybe I can transfer my care to here in Vancouver. It’d be nice to not have to drive over and hour just to see the doctor. I definitely need one, though. I’m in a massive amount of pain lately. I’m okay…same ol’ junk. I flared it up, though, by lifting something I shouldn’t have lifted. Since then, it’s not been the same. That’ll teach me! (maybe)

I’m going to be baking cookies today. I feel like a horrible person. I signed up for a cookie exchange in December and my friend, James, sent me some totally awesome cookies. I was supposed to have sent him his cookies a long time ago, but failed to do so. So that’s why I’m baking cookies. I feel like I should bake 3294873 cookies just to make up for being so late. I seriously feel so crappy about it. I hope he can forgive me.

I need to get back to mailing cards and letters to my friends. I haven’t been doing that, either. This whole being sick thing brought everything to a screeching halt. I also think I’ve got some depression issues going on. I’m not interested in doing the things I used to love to do. I don’t even feel like making cupcakes! You know that something’s up when I say, “Meh” to making cupcakes. I’m on anti-depressants. Maybe I need to have my dosage increased. It’s been a couple years with no increase. I’d assume they lose their effectiveness over time. I’ll bring it up to the doctor tomorrow and see what she thinks. Something’s gotta give, though. It’s not cool to feel this way all the time.

Wow…I feel like such a whiner. All I’m doing is griping about stuff. I think I’ll go ahead and call it quits for now. I don’t want to come off as emo or something disgusting like that. Have a lovely day!

 (Thank you again, Conor. I love it!)

Where did it all go wrong?

We started off the best of friends,
But it all came falling apart.
We started off as lovers,
But them it came tumbling down.
I’m now I’m sitting here asking myself,
Where did it all go wrong?

When you came into my life,
Thing just couldn’t get better.
But then you started to want more
Manipulative Greed.
And now I’m sitting here asking myself
Where did it all go wrong

And I did it all for you,
For Nobody else.
I put up with it,
For nobody else.
And in the end I’m sitting here asking myself,
Where did it all go wrong?

I loved you like you’ll never know,
But you twisted it, manipulated it
Until I realized it now.

You made it all go wrong

©2008 Conor M.

• It snowed all day yesterday!!! I was so stoked. Too bad I felt too lazy to take pictures.      I don’t even have one picture to show for it.

• The Master Cleanse thing went well. Now I’m back to eating and feeling much more energized. I’m still not sleeping as I should be, but it doesn’t seem to be taking as much out of me as it did prior to the cleanse. Don’t worry, though…I’ve not given up on the idea of getting a full night’s sleep every night. That’s my next big step…a sleep schedule.

• I need to call my brother. I feel like such a jerk. His birthday was on the 11th and I was going to call him, but none of us could find his number. Well, my Mom got it from my Dad later that night and I had planned to call John (my brother) the next day, but I have yet to do so. Really good sister I turned out to be.   I will call him today.

• I am SO enjoying the Christmas card exchanging I’ve been doing with my friends over on My.Opera. I get at least one card in the mail every single day…most days two or more! I will save all of ‘em forever, too. I’m sentimental like that.

• I HATE to say this, but I feel less festive this year than I did last year. Last year I was dressin’ like Mrs. Clause, baking constantly, listening to nothing but Christmas music, I didn’t go anywhere without my Santa hat…etc. I feel jolly this year, but less jolly. I’m not sure why. I hate it, though! I need to step it up and get my jolly on! It’s not too late to change it. That’s my new goal. Be more jolly ’til the big day!

• I’m still using my Voss bottle. I love the thing. I wash it out all the time with dish soap, so it’s not like it’s all crusty or something. It’s the perfect amount of water for me, though.

• I need to buy more flossers. I’ve only got a couple left…which is like a catastrophe waiting to happen for me! I floss at least twice a day!

• BTW - if you want some free DenTek samples, go HERE and sign up and they will hook you up with stuff. I got free flossers that way!  

• I’m eating a pear now. Mmm…love those things.

• Mmmm…..juicy.

• Oh man, that was sooo good. Not eating for a few days really makes the flavor of stuff much more bold. It’s pretty cool, really.

• My daughter is at home today. She’s got a cold…sore throat, congestion, fever…all that fun stuff. It happens almost every year around this time. She just doesn’t do well with the season change. Poor kid.  She’ll be just fine, though.

• I’m freezing so I just put Lonnie’s robe on over my clothes. Hehe…he hates it when I wear his junk. It’s just so cozy and big, though. I like wearing his robe…it’s like wearing a giant cozy blanket!

• I need to go work on a project now, so I’ve gotta wrap this up. I hope everyone is doing well and will keep on coming back to my site! Thanks for droppin’ by.    :)

• I just got home from the mall. My son asked me to give him a ride, so I agreed. I have no problems giving him rides to places he wants to go - especially when it’s raining outside. He asked me if I wanted to go in with him and look around, and I said I didn’t. I could tell he was disappointed, which shocked me, so I changed my mind and told him I’d go in with him. He’d gotten some Christmas/birthday money from a couple of his grandparents, so he was dying to spend it. He got a Zelda wallet, a keychain, and a tobacco roller.

• My feet are cold. I wonder where my slippers are.

• I couldn’t find ‘em and didn’t feel like going downstairs, so I just asked Sunny if I could borrow hers. She said, “Sure!”

• My slippers are way more cozy than Sunny’s. Now I feel guilty for her lack of coziness. But hey - I let her choose out of the entire section and these are the ones she went with.. So nevermind. No more guilt. Besides, hers cost twice what mine did!

• I’m doing the Master Cleanse Diet. This time, for 5-6 days. So far, it’s going very well. I’ve had 6 what I like to call “Lemon Cocktails” so far, and four bottles of water. When I say “bottles”, I’m referring to that enormous bottle from my last blog entry. So yeah - I’ve taken in lots of fluids today. I LOVE the flavor of the Lemon Cocktails, so this is working well. If I start to feel hungry, I go drink one. Then I come back upstairs and chuck a bunch of water. No more hunger. The hunger will be there for the first 2-3 days, but then it’ll be simple. I should know, I’ve starved myself plenty of times in my life. This is the first time I’m doing it in a healthy way. It feels good to know that. My kids and Lonnie need me, after all.

• I’ve been getting at least one Christmas card per day! Today I got one from Casey!!! I was so excited. The card was so cool, too. It was black with silver on it…totally hip and stylish. She said on Twitter that she got mine today, too! I hope she liked it. Mine was more cute than stylish…hehe. Matthew said that his family got mine today, too!!! I am loving this! I’m going to continue to write to so many people after the holidays are over. They’ll probably be sorry they ever gave me their address.

• I need to call my Dad tomorrow. I didn’t talk to him at all last week! That’s a first time in a very long time that a week’s gone by without talking to him. I HATE it when that happens.

• I don’t think I’m going to take my multi vitamin while doing this Master Cleanse thing. I don’t want to do something wrong. I’m following the instructions to the letter.

• I dropped into Bath & Body Works while we were at the mall. I sprayed a sample of one of their holiday perfumes on myself. It’s called Warm Vanilla Sugar®, and I LOVE it! I sprayed a spritz on my wrist, took a whiff and went, “Ahhhhhh”…so then I sprayed my neck, too. Mmmm…I can still smell it. I love it! They had matching hand lotion, so I used that as well. It’s only $26.50 for 2.5 Fluid Ounces…that’s a very reasonable price. I wish I had it. I’d go buy it up STAT! I adore smelling good. It’s so important to me. I hate to smell overly perfumey, but I love to have a hint of, “Mmmm…she smells so good!”

• I have no idea what to make the family for dinner tonight. I don’t want to make something I really, really like since I can’t eat it, but I want them to have something they enjoy. Hmm…I’ll think of something.

• Lonnie’s sicker than a dog today. He’s been all Hell bent on getting super healthy lately. Well, he went a bit too far this time and over dosed on vitamins. Now he’s paying for it. He feels horrible. Headache, body aches, nauseated….the whole niner. Perhaps this will finally teach him to chill out when it comes to his body. You just can’t go taking 320483 different types of vitamins and vitamin juices…etc., and expect to feel wonderful. It doesn’t work that way. I feel really crappy for him, but GOSH!!! It’s his own doing.

• The shorter French tips are working out so much better for typing. I can handle this much better. They look way less cool and sexeh, but better than nothing.

• My right shoulder is KILLING me today. I keep getting a total cramp in it. I need to use the percussion massager on it. I wish Lonnie felt more up to it. That’d be lovely. That’s okay, though. I can do it myself.

• I wish Sarah was online right now. We were going to webcam tonight! I wonder what she’s doing. Probably the usual - being the best wife and mother known to man.

• Today is the anniversary of my ex’s death. I can’t believe how well I’m doing. I must be learning to get over it. I haven’t even cried once today! That was another reason I started The Master Cleanse Diet today. Symbolism. I’m cleansing myself inside and out! It’s just one more way for me to rid myself of him & his horrible memory.

• I suppose I’ll call it quits for now. Have a wonderful day/night, everyone!!!

Here’s another Mini for Alla!
I spotted this one in the parking
lot of the grocery store. It was
obviously night time, so the
picture didn’t turn out well AT ALL,
but the license plate proves that
it really IS a Mini!